I've been trying to live with the philosophy that if you sit back and observe, things will eventually just come together, one way or another. You should know that this sort of philosophy goes against my nature in a very very big way. I'm a list maker (capital "L" capital "M"). A goal-oriented, task-driven, order-loving list maker.
Years of kitchen management has made me this way - I work with order. If I'm thrown into any sort of unplanned chaos I simply don't know how to function. Being this organized certainly has some advantages, but I'm coming to realize just how debilitating it can be as well.
The funny thing is, when I am happiest in the kitchen, I'm cooking off the cuff, often free from recipes or of any real certainty of where I may go with what I'm making until the last ingredient is added. It's the duality of life in the kitchen - so much planning, so much number crunching, side by side with the art of it, the senses and self expression. In the end, it's all about balance. So I'm trying to even things out a bit; I'm figuring out how to bring out the best parts of this crazy business while minimizing all those things that fuel my need for crazy order.
I'm working on it. One deep breath at a time.
